Now that I have the weekend off from Emma and pre-college, I'm taking the time to think about what went well and what could have gone better in both recitals.
Surprisingly enough, I've never had a solo recital before this year, which made learning how to sustain myself throughout a 40 minute program somewhat difficult. When playing in studio recitals or assemblies, one simply has to get through five to ten minutes of music on average. But in a solo recital a musician has to play many pieces with few breaks and building anxiety. Learning how to overcome that anxiety, or how to move on after making a mistake, was perhaps the most difficult for me to learn, but I was ultimately pretty successful in terms of not letting myself be weighted down by big mistakes.
Though in both recitals (at Juilliard and at Emma), the majority of my program went quite well, both had moments of, shall we say, "tiny catastrophe." The mistakes weren't horrible or glaring, but at the very moment of said mistake, it almost felt like the piece was crashing down. On Saturday, one of the pedals popped up from sharp to natural unexpectedly, completely changing the key. On Sunday, I had a brief memory slip (which tends to happen when one memorizes forty minutes of music). In the grander scheme of things, these two slip-ups weren't a huge deal. What was a bigger deal is how I was able to use the skills I've been working on this year to move on when things got a bit rough. Rather than freezing on the spot when things don't go well (which, admittedly, happened during a pre-college harp class performance one morning), I've learned to quickly get back on the horse, and just keep going. I count the development of this skill as a success in terms of my growth as a musician and especially as a performer.
Another aspect of my recitals that went well was the increasing musicality of the performances. My teacher is always telling me to "be a diva," which, for those who know me, is quite hard; I prefer to avoid the dramatic, instead opting for a focus on the technical aspect of playing. Maybe it was just the feeling of nervous excitement on stage or the fancy dress, but I finally understood what she meant by being "a diva." It's not necessarily the addition of weirdly dramatic flair (like the odd facial expressions some people like to make). It's an understanding of the music and what it requires. Sometimes it calls for a longer pause, no pause, or just a little more oomph. Whatever it was, I understood more clearly how to give the music what it needed.
Overall, I feel that the recital was a nice culmination of my musical career thus far. I performed pieces I truly enjoy without cracking beneath the pressure of a solo recital, and I was able to do so with a musicality I hadn't seen in myself before. It was quite a nice end to the year and all of the hard work I've put in. To see the fruits of one's labor is perhaps more thrilling than anything else can be.
Surprisingly enough, I've never had a solo recital before this year, which made learning how to sustain myself throughout a 40 minute program somewhat difficult. When playing in studio recitals or assemblies, one simply has to get through five to ten minutes of music on average. But in a solo recital a musician has to play many pieces with few breaks and building anxiety. Learning how to overcome that anxiety, or how to move on after making a mistake, was perhaps the most difficult for me to learn, but I was ultimately pretty successful in terms of not letting myself be weighted down by big mistakes.
Though in both recitals (at Juilliard and at Emma), the majority of my program went quite well, both had moments of, shall we say, "tiny catastrophe." The mistakes weren't horrible or glaring, but at the very moment of said mistake, it almost felt like the piece was crashing down. On Saturday, one of the pedals popped up from sharp to natural unexpectedly, completely changing the key. On Sunday, I had a brief memory slip (which tends to happen when one memorizes forty minutes of music). In the grander scheme of things, these two slip-ups weren't a huge deal. What was a bigger deal is how I was able to use the skills I've been working on this year to move on when things got a bit rough. Rather than freezing on the spot when things don't go well (which, admittedly, happened during a pre-college harp class performance one morning), I've learned to quickly get back on the horse, and just keep going. I count the development of this skill as a success in terms of my growth as a musician and especially as a performer.
Another aspect of my recitals that went well was the increasing musicality of the performances. My teacher is always telling me to "be a diva," which, for those who know me, is quite hard; I prefer to avoid the dramatic, instead opting for a focus on the technical aspect of playing. Maybe it was just the feeling of nervous excitement on stage or the fancy dress, but I finally understood what she meant by being "a diva." It's not necessarily the addition of weirdly dramatic flair (like the odd facial expressions some people like to make). It's an understanding of the music and what it requires. Sometimes it calls for a longer pause, no pause, or just a little more oomph. Whatever it was, I understood more clearly how to give the music what it needed.
Overall, I feel that the recital was a nice culmination of my musical career thus far. I performed pieces I truly enjoy without cracking beneath the pressure of a solo recital, and I was able to do so with a musicality I hadn't seen in myself before. It was quite a nice end to the year and all of the hard work I've put in. To see the fruits of one's labor is perhaps more thrilling than anything else can be.
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